Boo!

School has begun, autumn is here and I am not ready for the holidays that are about to follow.  For those of us with ASD children, holidays are particularly stressful--changes in routine, meeting faces that are unfamiliar, outfits that may be uncomfortable, etc... all make for 3-4 months of what I call "Holiday Hell." (I mean that in the nicest possible way.)

A Typical Halloween:

The first meltdown is usually me.  The anxiety of what I expect, good or bad, often precedes any problems.  I think a lot of ASD parents experience that.  How can you NOT?  (Our children tend to be dramatic and very LOUD.)

The second meltdown is COSTUMES.  Heaven help me.  THE COSTUMES.  I have two on the spectrum.  My Aspie inevitably wants some abstract, obscure costume that no one will know or recognize no matter how well I duplicate it (look at some below); while my more severe ASD son will barely put a hat on his head let alone verbally tell me what he wants!  I figure I can't be the only parent out there with this dilemma so I created a Pintrest Board of the more sensory friendly costumes....those made of hoodies or other 'regular clothing' type materials, those made from boxes, or those that just involve turning a hair bun into a spider.  I've also included some pictures of costumes I've made over the years.  I hope this helps someone out there.  I'm grateful for every clever idea I've seen and if I have a clever idea or two, I like to share. 

The third meltdown is TRICK-OR-TREATING.  As you will recall: two on the spectrum, one high-functioning, one low-functioning.  One wants to go trick-or-treating, the other, just wants out of his costume.  HOW do I solve this problem?  I can't split myself into two people!  Fortunately, my daughter has had a best friend to go with the past few years while the boy has opted out all together and I can stay with him.

So how does one deal with or prevent the Halloween Meltdowns?  I have the following thoughts:

1.  Let your child know Halloween plans as far in advance as possible.  Even if they are non-verbal!  Use a calendar to mark off days, add pictures to the calendar if you will be in a different location (like grandma and grandpa's) to help them understand what is going to happen.

Obscure?  This was when we lived in Las Vegas.  It's a Nymph from Cirque Du Soleil's "Allegria"

2.  Do a dry run.  This includes costume wearing.  This may take practice.  Let them wear the costume around the house.  Act out trick-or-treating with different doors in the house and some cousins or siblings to model.  Some children respond to modeling behavior better than others.  Just do what you can, and what your child is comfortable with.  

Easy year - store bought Lightening McQueen

 3.  If they don't want to participate in the candy begging (neither of my children really eat any candy) it's okay.  Sometimes all they want to do is be around the other children and follow along.  Let your child be your guide.  My lower-functioning son doesn't want to trick or treat, but during the day he likes to be around the kids and their costumes.

A football fan and Las Vegas Card Shark (it's a stretch but it's Autism at Halloween)

 4.  If you are having an Autistic child over, be sure to save some space for him/her.  A quiet room off to the side where they can go if they need space.  Talk to mom and dad before hand....the room might need to be free of electronics, or expensive, easily breakable items.  Usually a room with lots of blankets and pillows that they can hide under and pile on top of themselves for pressure will help some of the children.  Again, ask the parents what works best.

Any costume with a box can be worn with ordinary clothing and no make-up.

 5.  Also, if you're having an Autistic child over, check with the parents to see if their child is on a special diet.  Gluten-free, dairy-free, etc.  It might be fun to include everyone in their diet world for a night.  -though I know this is a lot of work-  just talk to the mom and/or dad.

In this case, older sister steadies the box.  Rick wasn't ready to wear his just yet.  Maybe next year.

 6.  As far as Halloween treats for Autistic children, again, as I said, many are on gluten-free, dairy or casein-free, sugar-free diets.  So what I do are pencils, wooden puzzles, or anything else but food/candy.  It's pricey, but I want the holiday to be as fun for these kids as it is for others.

Another Las Vegas costume.  Cirque Du Soleil's Dralion Dragon

 7.  Limit scary stories and "scariness" in general.  Some of these children replay things in their mind, over and over.  Traumatic experiences have a far greater effect than people realize.

A cowboy without a hat.  A white shirt, shorts and bandana were all he would wear.

 8.  Just remember, Halloween, or any holiday for that matter, isn't for everyone.  But it is a fun part of childhood and hopefully all can enjoy a happy and safe Halloween.

Daughter's Parrot Costume 2011 - great because it essentially wears as a cape

Pterodactyl with working wings 2011