So I read it the article. (I even opened up a separate app to do it!) And I understand why the author feels the way they do. I am part of the greater special needs community because I am raising two of my own. But I take issue with two things because I read about them a lot-and not just from this author: first, the accusation that people are trying to "fix" those with disabilities and two, the implied tone that the public at large is purposefully spreading ignorance about the disabled community at their own ego's expense.
Let's start with the first point. "Fixing" the disability. There are many, in the Autism community specifically, that scream loudly at the top of their lungs that you should accept the disability as it is and love your child the way God made them. This is entirely true. However, throwing your hands up and saying "Accept it!" is every bit as ignorant as they accuse everyone else of being for NOT accepting it. I drive every day, over 100 miles some days, to get my son the best developmental care I could find. Does that make me a saint? No. Do I want pity? No. Am I trying to "fix" him? Well, yes. To the best of my abilities. I accept he has Autism. I accept that I will more than likely be caring for him for the rest of my life. But I also accept my responsibility to educate him to the best of my ability, to help him be able to be as self-sustaining as possible because I know I will not be around for his whole life. This is called "treatment." It's what the medical community does. It's what our bodies naturally do. Heal. Fix. We're all broken to some extent. We are all on a scale of imperfect and perfect. I have to try. I'd rather try than not.
The second point, the public's general 'ignorance.' The funny thing is that this is not unique to the subject of anyone's particular special needs condition. It's a part of the human condition. There's a reason they have the saying, "Ignorance is bliss." Research is time consuming. It's faster to read a headline than it is to open the dumb article in a separate app. This happens with national headlines. It's all informational porn as it is devoured as soon as it's prepared. The more shocking, the better. And it's more ironic that a lot of the special needs community spreads the very "inspirational porn"the parent refers to. Sadly, we need that inspirational porn sometimes. Let me tell you why. There are those of us who get up at the crack of dawn because we have to get dressed and ready for the day while our children sleep-no matter how old they get. We get them up, help them out of bed, take them to the toilet, prepare their breakfast, spoon feed them, help them get dressed, remember medications, direct other children to get ready, help them walk to the car, buckle them in, drive them to the destination, unbuckle them, help them out, walk them to therapists, teachers, etc..walk them out, help them back in the car, buckle them in whether they want to or not and this process happens many times during the day. Going places is a struggle. Eating is a struggle. Pottying/diapering is a struggle. While other children grow up, and other parents struggles change, yours stays the same. Day in and day out. Keeping a positive attitude is very difficult. Keeping your own physical and mental health during such routine weeks, months, years is sometimes more than you can bear. But for those of us in the special needs community, particularly high-needs, seeing someone triumph over a disability is like a victory in a war you wage every day. Not a "normal" war. But a survival-of-the-every-day-war. So I get it. And I get the need to share inspiration.
I tend to get passionate about those who clamor for tolerance when they themselves have the tone of intolerance. And I suppose I sound intolerant by being irritated on behalf of ignorant people everywhere? I just want everyone to get along. I just want special needs activists to be okay with those of us who are helping our children through everyday routines of living, no matter what the disability or medical condition. We all have something. We all have struggles and challenges. Only education will help everyone see that bigger picture, not judgmental articles.
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