Other's Shoes

 I wrote this today as my status on My Autism Team.

"Eh, today is one of those days.....I'm tired of the battles I can't EVER back down from or I can't keep control of my child(ren), I'm tired of diaper changes every 2 seconds, I'm tired of fighting to spoon feed 3 times a day, I'm tired of being pulled EVERYWHERE every 2 seconds, I'm so tired of NO ONE waiting for me to use the restroom for 2 seconds, I'm tired of the financial hardships with no health insurance, I'm tired of going to the store because there's no one around to do it....I just...I cry "UNCLE"!!  To life!!  It's a pity party day.  I know we ALL have them.  Type some words to vent, get virtual hugs and continue on our life path that is so overwhelmingly rigid."

I try and write more informational posts.  I don't really like to "gripe" write because there is always someone who has it worse than you.  After I posted my whining, I was going to delete it, but a gal who has a 16 year old ASD son wrote on it.   Her story is that her 16 year old ASD son, had caused her problems within 10 minutes of her waking.  He's still not independent and she's still battling bathroom issues and feeding issues, as she has for the last 14 years.  Wow.  It puts things in perspective.  I feel bad for complaining.  The one thing I have going for me, at least for another couple years, is hope.  Hope I can get him as close to normal as I can before his developmental window closes.

It is true though.  Autism life IS rigid.  The kids, as all kids do, need routine.  But, the problem with our ASD children is that they are completely inflexible.  They get into routines that become outright rituals that MUST be done or their world will come apart.  I remember how bad my daughter was, but it's nothing like my son's is becoming.  He has started one such ritual, it begins with him screaming once we come inside the door, and progresses to him taking off his shoes, crying, bringing them to me and asking me, in his sounds, "help please" to put them back on.  I've waited SO LONG to hear words.... I totally cave at his request full well knowing I've just reinforced the negative behavior.  But I wanted to reinforce the words........
Some days, you just can't win.

Never Put Off Until Tomorrow What You Can Do Today

This is my first blog entry documenting my life as a mother of two children with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).  One, a toddler, non-verbal, and two, an older child with Asperger's Syndrome.  After having lived with these diagnoses for over a year now, one might think things would get easier.  They don't.  My response to the difficulties has gotten easier though.

I intended to start this blog awhile ago, documenting successful activities my children engage in together; recommending treatment programs I've found to be helpful; and educating others on the disorder(s) and the need for funding research and inclusive health insurance laws, but as a single mother of 2 ASD children, I have had little time.  I am only MAKING the time now as an outlet to vent the frustrations that come with living with and caring for children with Autism. 

I currently have a problem.  It is the fact that I cannot find, no matter how hard I try, affordable housing for us, and excellent programs for BOTH of my children IN the same area.  I currently live in Ogden, Utah and have found an EXCELLENT program for my non-verbal 3 yr old.  It is with the Weber County School District who has wonderful, caring therapists involved in their Early Intervention Program and wonderful, caring therapists and teachers in their new "Partners for Success" program (Preschool Age 3-4).  "Partners for Success" is an excellent program.  My 3 yr old has 4 hours of preschool 4 days a week with the hope of graduating down to 2.5 hours of preschool.  They are using a form of ABA therapy to gain instructional control.  My older Aspie, however, has NOTHING here.  My Aspie is very intelligent, self taught to read at 2,  and struggles socially as all Aspies do.  A "504" will get guidance from a counselor, maybe a social skills class once a week, but the funding for education in the state of Utah is poor and there are no accelerated learning programs here.  So, after looking at all options available to me, I've settled on a decision to move to Camas, Washington.  I've heard they have a good program there for Autistic children and I have friends and family in the area offering support to us.  I feel great about the move for my Aspie, but I wish I felt better about my 3 yr old's treatment options.  It looks like private instruction is my only option to equate what Weber School District is doing here.  It is a very expensive option though.